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He did it for Britain. He needn't have bothered. Mar 02, 2007
I'm not even sure if America even knows what Eurovision actually IS, so let me try and explain. It's a strange beast - a camp, sad, tragic beast that, in the UK at least, somehow refuses to die. It's a singing competition that has participants from all over Europe competing to win.. well, I'm not actually sure. It's all a bit of a joke in the UK thanks to the shoddy songs and overall naffness of the product. Or at least.. it used to be.
Then there came a man - Daz Sampson - who was going to put the COOL back in the show. He wasn't going to sing, dammit - he was going to RAP. And he was going to rap about what it was like to be a TEENAGER, despite being about fifty. And he was going to do it with a bunch of schoolkids singing the chorus. See ya later, Another Brick In The Wall, right?
Er - wrong. Despite having such, ahem, "credentials" as being the man behind a thousand terrible dance cover versions ("Kung Fu Fighting, Rhinestone Cowboy" - basically if it was a God-awful dance cover with some toe-curling rap in the middle then Daz was behind it), amazingly Daz totally stiffed at Eurovision, coming a woeful 19th out of 26. Fred from Finland throwing cats into dustbins came 18th. Probably.
Who knows why? Maybe it was the fact that, despite Daz looking like someone who would serve you in an ice-cream van, despite Daz being British, rapped like he was American. For Eurovision. Maybe it was the fact his "hey, I'm DOWN with these kids" rap had you hiding behind the sofa in embarrassment. Or maybe there were just 18 better acts. God only knows the horrors of the acts that came BEHIND Daz.
And so, another year, another failure for the UK. Isn't it about time we just waved the white flag on this whole sorry affair?
The_Curmudgeon_Hates_You@yahoo.co.uk
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